I don’t know. I’m hoping for next week.
“You good” I asked as I walked into Chris’ room.
“Yeah” he said blandly as he watched some PBS show.
“Quit lying nigga. I know you better than I know myself.” I found a seat on the chaise lounge across from the bed.
“This is some bullshit man!” He threw the remote down. “Why these niggas always messing with me! Ion do shit, ion fuck with nobody! I do what the fuck I’m supposed to do, yet I STILL get backlashes… Fuck this shit.” Chris paced the room.
“Chris. You gotta chill. Roll an L and throw your middle fingers up at them hating ass bitches” I grabbed his shoulders to stop him from pacing. “Look at me! Chill Christopher. Forreal! You can’t show them you mad! You can show them that you’re hurting in any type of way. Fuck it”
Chris stopped and stared at me for a moment… Clenching his jaw.
“I only want what’s best for you” I continued. ” I only want what’s best for you… What’s best” I scanned his face.
“Get out Rih” he mumbled.
“What?” I asked.
“Get out. I’m not dumb. I’m not stupid. Quit tryna push up on me. I get that you’re tryna support a nigga, but don’t fuck my relationship with my girls up, in her house, where she’s allowing you to live. She don’t trust you, she got reasons not to.”
“Alright Chris” I chuckled on the low. He could ALWAYS smell my bullshit.
“I got you. Just don’t retaliate” I walked out.
“Oh HELL NO!” I yelled as soon as I’d got tho the basement to begin working again.
Rihanna thought it was CUTE to erase my whole song and leave a letter saying …
“Never Help The Enemy”
“Lord” I folded my head in my hands “I am trying SO hard to forgive my enemies… But THIS bit-girl, is going to receive thy fists. Please deliver me from evil and temptation. Cause it’s ABOUT TO GO DOWN…”
“RIHANNA!” I called as I stormed upstairs.
“You bellowed Madame” Rihanna laid comfortably on my couch.
I laughed slightly, trying to calm myself and lower my voice before I ruin Chris’ day further.
“Why are you such a hatin ass bitch” I laid back on the wall across from the couch where Rihanna lie.
“Excuse me” she muted the TV.
“You heard me bitch” I spat in a whisper. “Why.Are.You.Such.A.HATING.ASS.BITCH”
“Please bitch .. What is there to hate off of” Rihanna rose on the couch.
“Is we mad? I hope not” I giggled as I walked to the bedroom.
“This ain’t over! You lucky Chris ain’t feeling good. Otherwise I’d fuck yo ass up” she whispered to my back.
“Forreal bitch? I’ll be waiting”
“What can I do to help you babe” I asked Chris as I messaged his back.
“Just continue to be here for me” he stared angrily at CNN.
“Don’t watch that shit…” I changed the channel to VH1 Soul and Yo began to fill the surround sound speakers.
I looked to Chris, not knowing if I should change the channel, but his glare confused me. He wasn’t just staring at the tv. There was a lot of emotion in his eyes but his complete facial expression lie lifeless.
I remained quiet for the whole entire video. The video was one of the many in the ‘Chris Brown Playlist’ they had playing for the day. I reached for the remote but Chris pressed my hand.
I looked to him and he stared at me with something I’d never witnessed before. My arm whimpered but Chris invited me to sit next to him on the bed.
We sat there for the whole hour, just watching videos of him. He laid his head in my lap and a stream of tears soaked through my leggings.
I’d never seen a man cry. In real life, no. I didn’t know what to do. I rubbed his back and allowed him to feel comfortable to let it out.
Nothing has been said and a move had not been made. Chris was still in my lap. I really think he was sleeping. His phone went off, my phone went off. The room was dark as shit. I was hungry and had to pee.
I tried to slide Chris’ head off my lap, but he woke in an instant.
“Where you going?” His face swollen and his eyes bloodshot.
“To the bathroom” I looked back at him as he contemplated something.
“Come back” he said as he lay his head back.
“Okay” I furrowed my eyebrows. A sista handled her business and brought some food back for Chris and I, but when I came to the room, this nigga was not in here.
“Chris?” I asked as I heard shuffling in my closet.
Now I know what you thinking … Why the hell am I walking towards the noise and asking who it is … But bare with me
I walk in the closet and Chris changed into a hoodie and some running shoes.
“Let’s go jogging” he told me as he laced up his shoes.
“Um okay … But can we eat first.”
“Yeah ion care” he continued to dress himself.
I walked back into the room to eat my sandwich when Chris came into the room.
“You down for me right?” Chris asked.
“Uh yeah Chris. Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked with a mouth full of sammich.
“Coo” he walked out of the room. “Check your phone too”
I checked my texts:
Alex: We have unfinished business. Answer the damn phone when I call .
D’marcus: Just know I’m watching you. Nice voicemail tho. ‘Newest member to CBE’ how cute!
WHHHY ! Why do I have to go for crazy niggas ? Can’t they just chill.
The sound of shattering glass in the front of the house filled my bedroom.
I got up quick and put on shoes, but the sound of gunshots stopped me in my tracks.
What’s going on?
Today, my brother’s quarter grades came in … All this nigga has C’s and D’s. This led me to ponder why our people abuse the power of education.
My brother, he is an Athlete… (But of course). His sport of choice, basketball… He has been involved in Football, Track, Baseball, dabbled in Soccer, Skateboarding, and even Golf. He is good at whatever SPORT he puts his mind to.
Now let me tell you of our background.
We are of a family of 5… 6 if you include my half sister. We do live with both our parents.
Growing up, our lives were never hard. Anything and everything we wanted, we received; in contrary to the life my father grew up in.
My father grew up around gangsters and drug dealers and what have you. My father knew his mother and father, but they split. My father didn’t take education that seriously and then at age 16, he became a father. Also at age 16, he vowed to make a better life for his prosperity and take care of his kindred. Well, things happen, love changes, and that is when he met my mother…
The love of his life. :D
Her life was on the complete opposite spectrum in comparison to my dad’s.
My mother wore the best of the best, ate stake and lobster dinners every Friday, didn’t have to work for anything. And at age 19… She gave birth to my other sister. She went on to finish a year of higher education, but it was difficult with a child, so she dropped out.
Fast forward to myself and my younger brother.
We were always taught, education first. If my talents get me nowhere, education will. I am a very creative mind who sees the value of an education. I’ve done sports, I sing, draw, rap, dance, write … But I feel those are inferior to a proper education. *I’ll explain further later on*
My brother, raised with the same teachings… Tries, when he has time. But like every boy, he is unorganized, sloppy, and in a sense… Careless. He’s the “baby” of the family, so whatever needed to do, was done for him. With all these sports filling his head, education is at an abeyance.
It is of my belief that talents are inferior to an education… Why?
EVERYONE in the universe wants to be the next big thing. The next, Beyonce, Aaliyah, Tupac, Biggie, Kobe, LeBron….
But what black kid wants to be the next Maya Angelou, Martin Luther King Jr, Malcolm X, Madame C.J. Walker, Barack Obama, ect.
Our youth is too concerned about the entertainment business, that WE miss out on the world. WE make our selves ignorant. Kids having sex before marriage, putting lust before GOD. Drinking, smoking, killing each other… We’re just feeding into the racism and stereotypes. No one is making us this way except ourselves! We’re setting ourselves up for failure by the names were giving our children. We’re setting ourselves up for failure by letting our kids run ragged through the streets. We’re setting ourselves up for failure by not setting examples and leading a blind man into the dark.
I’m not saying at all that talents and hobbies shouldn’t be something you go for. What I am saying, is that education should be as or more important than what you can do with a round object and hand-eye-coordination.
If we lead the change instead of talking about it… Change will come in-toe.
Let this not only go for black children, but for all the minorities who inject poison into culture by no doing of the white man.
Yes lol I write all the chapters. If you’re on the desktop version of tumblr, you’d got to the right panel and select chapters. But Iono how to do it on mobile
*1 Month Later*
A lot of shit has gone DOWN in these last 4 weeks. I mean HEEEEEELLA shit yo.
Last week Mijo got booked for some shit I have yet to discover
Ty and Honey have decided to become porn directors… Don’t even get me started on that shit.
Ty’s lil sister Savonna got sent off to an all girl school in North Korea.
Karrueche has made it her ULTIMATE goal to fuck shit up between Liliana and I.
Alex ass almost caught a clip from Mijo’s older brother D’marcus. Now D’marcus is in jail too.
Kamary got back with Kae’s Pops. Why I know this? Cause Karrueche slow ass think I really care bout her life.
And finally, the whole shebang bang of this whole fucked up month… Rih turned herself into a rehab centre and put my name on all the guardian papers. MEANING, I am in charge of her care and she must live with me. I live with Liliana … You KNOW I’ve had the fattest headache with these useless ass arguments and fighting.
Ion got time for this bullshit… Especially while Lili and I are planning to go on tour together.
“Did y’all have fun last night?” I heard Rih as I dug in the fridge for a Capri Sun.
“What do you mean Robyn” I sighed as I slammed the door shut. I knew exactly what she was talking about, but if I started some shit right now my sleeping princess would wake up and beat me and Robyn both the fuck up.
“You know what I’m talking about ya pussy smelling ass nigga… I heard y’all banging from upstairs Christopher! I ain’t deaf. Sound like you was strangling the bitch” Rihanna chuckled as I screwed my face towards her.
“That’s cause I did… I kilt that punani Cuh” I said licking my fingers obnoxiously.
“Ew you nasty ass”
“Shut the fuck up cause you worse than I am” I yelled.
“Well you know me!” She blushed.
I heard the bedroom door slam and quick steps coming towards the kitchen.
“There she go” Rihanna whispered and walked back into the living room.
“Christopher can I talk to you?” Liliana peered around the corner in her silk robe.
“Yeah babe” I trailed behind her all the way to the room expecting her to be hot as hell. “Look I didn’t mean-“
“No I’m not mad bout y’all being loud… That don’t matter to me… Do you see this shit? Look what ya ex ex bitch is saying about me again on twitter!”
“@karrueche: I’ll never steal nobodies man bitch @_LilianaJ”
“@karrueche: Yeah I @’Ed you … Run the issue bitch”
“Chris…” Liliana looked back up at me with furrowed eyebrows “… Get this bitch before I snap her fucking neck and be on CNN the same fucking night for kicking the bitches head down Rodeo Drive. Keep playing with me.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Her temper was too fucking cold. We bad in that aspect. Cause we both hotheaded and that’s not good.
“I got her. Haha. Don’t worry babe”
“Oh I’m not worried… She needa be worried” Liliana turned around and submerged herself into the computer.
“Yo I’m bouta go grab breakfast you want anything?” I grabbed Liliana’s keys from the tv stand.
“From where?” She turned around to face me.
“They been stopped selling breakfast nigga it’s 12!” Liliana slapped her thigh.
“My bad my bad” I checked the time on my phone.
“Go to Jack N Da Crack and get me some chicken strips, strawberry milkshake, and a medium fry” Liliana rolled back over and focused back on the computer.
“Gotchu ma” I smacked her ass before I ran out the room.
“Fuck you Chris!” She yelled.
“Love you too” I yelled back. “Robs … I’m going to Jack N Da Box you want something?”
“Lemme get uuuh … 2 breakfast jacks a medium fry and a medium sprite” Rihanna stared at her phone screen.
“Coo. Don’t kill my baby” I warned her.
“You got a kid” Robyn sassed.
“Just keep the house in tact” I responded.
“BYE nigga dis ain’t yo house” Robyn shoved me through the door.
*30 minutes later*
Chris ass still ain’t here and I needed to get some work done. PLUS I’m hungrier than a fat bitch.
“Aye” I called to Rihanna down the hallway.
“You talking to me?” She responded.
I scoffed lowly at her dumb ass attitude.
“Aye come to the studio with me” I set aside my attitude. “I need someone to feature on this track”
“You want ME on there? Little ole me?” Rihanna poked.
“Bitch bring ya ass” I yelled as I opened the door to the studio.
“That’s more like it!” I heard her feet steps behind me.
“And it if its me, best believe em he gone beat it like he pose to. Come right over her, hit like mama showed you.” I rapped my part of the bridge to Rih.
“You really want me to rap?” She looked at me crazy.
“Basically yeah” I returned.
“Whatever whatever” Rih went back into her pen and pad. I was bouta go upstairs and try to find something to eat since Chris ass decided to make 17 hundred detours, but I remembered I ain’t trust this bitch alone by herself in my house. But the slam of my front door let me know that Chris was home and wasn’t too damn happy either. I raced up the stairs riiiight as this nigga punched a hole in my wall.
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING !” I ran up to his ass, damn near bouta punch the shit outta him.
“I HATE THE FUCKING POLICE NIGGA! ALWAYS PROFILING A NIGGA FOR NO DAMN REASON. BITCH ASS MUHFUCKAS” Chris yelled randomly.
“What are you talking about Chris” I lowered my tone because yelling at him wasn’t gone make the situation better. Chris paced across the kitchen a few times before he plopped on the couch in serious thought.
“So I found out what Mijo went to jail for” Chris began. “I was at the place, just got the food, as I’m tryna come out the drive through, 5, FIVE MY NIGGA, police cars were blocking my exit. I look closer, ALL them niggas got they guns pointed at me yelling ‘GET OUT THE CAR’. I ain’t have shit to hide, so a nigga turned the car off, got out, they make me lay on the ground to cuff me, read me my Miranda Rights, and throw me in the back of the car. Didn’t tell me why. Them niggas had a Tow truck ready to take the car and took my ass to the police station and tried to say I was an accomplice in the killing of Kae’s mom…”
“Wait… Mijo killed Kae’s mom?” Rihanna asked. I turned around to see she had made her way to the kitchen.
“Yeah basically” he huffed.
“Damn, that’s heavy” I sat down on the couch next to him.
“I don’t wanna turn on the news, go out in pubic, nor do I wanna go on the fucking Internet cause I know EVERYBODY and they mama gone try to rag on my ass” Chris stared off into the distance.
“Chris I-” the sound of Chris’ phone ringing cut me off. He took the phone out his pocket and threw it on the coffee table.
“Who the fuck is it?” He asked lowly.
I leaned over to the table “blocked”.
“Answer it” Chris got up from the couch as I said hello.
“Yeah, hello, is this Chris?” The female asked.
“No, um, this is his management speaking, may I ask who’s calling?”
“Damn they took babes phone line away too? Psh, iight. Well, tell him this is Kendreya and uh Chris needa call me back” ‘Kendreya’ smacked her lips.
“Yes ma’am, I’ll tell Chris right away” I said as cheerful as I could possibly.
“Yeah bitch” she hung up right in my face.
I sat on the couch, contemplating 2 things.
ONE, should I get up FUMING like I am right now. Cuss Chris ALL types of out in disregards to how he’s feeling right now. Should I be selfish.
TWO, should I just put my difference aside and support Chris then cuss his ass out when he’s feeling better. Damn I sound like a bitch .
“UGH” I stormed from the living room back to the studio. I gotta be a good girlfriend. I gotta be there for him. I can’t trip. Atleast not right now.